"I have the greatest of all riches; that of not desiring them"
     -Eleonora Duse

The Healing Power of Silence

Helen Keller said "the greatest gifts cannot be seen or heard but simply felt in the heart." I believe that she was right. The greatest gift each one of us can actually give and receive is the gift of ones’ self. Simply put, one needs to be present. Said another way, we can actually be present for people and families confronted with illness. This is so obvious. At the same time, why is this simple concern often hard to embrace?

Our culture often focuses on people, places and things that proclaim to be big, bold, fast, and powerful. Every day we are bombarded with thousands of promises- "new and improved." Better. Stronger. The best. The labels or measurements can’t capture the depth of feelings we have in our hearts. To complicate things, we are invited to cram every minute of our day with activity- multi-tasking through TV, emails, cell phones 24/7 and split screen technology so we can even do several things at once. Many of these busy-marking activities fall by the wayside when serious illness occurs. At the best they become distractions. At worse, they add to a patient and family’s stress level and isolation because they are too impersonal, fleeting or fast-paced.

There are so many meaningful ways to connect with ill children and the entire family. You can send an email or Soaringwords activity message to brighten up someone’s day—the ill child, the siblings, the parents. You can call to let them know you’re thinking of them, or visit in person. All of these activities can be "short and sweet" and don’t require the initiator or receiver to get into a long discussion about medical conditions.

The most beneficial thing is to let people know that they are not alone and that you are thinking about them and wishing them well.

A newly discovered friend of mine, Happie Bailey, shares her experiences and wisdom on the importance of being a calming presence for people in crisis. She spends her days as a hand-holder, a hospital volunteer that makes hospital rounds and connects with patients and family members for a few minutes at a time. Happie’s healing power comes form holding someone’s hand. This non-verbal gesture often transforms the entire energy in the hospital room. The patient knows that someone cares. A strong human connection is made and spirits are lifted.

The exhaustion of ongoing treatments, procedures and medication is one of the hardest parts of illness. Simple expressions of compassion, caring and letting patients and their families know they are not alone go along way in helping people feel supported and strengthened.

May you find strength in your silence as the giver or the recipient or good wishes and prayers. Comfort in the unspoken presence of family or friends. And healing from these gifts which cannot be bought or quantified, but are truly valuable and treasured.

Lisa Honig Buksbaum

Lisa is the CEO and Founder of Soaringwords.